by Lyn Lumanlan-Elloso

You’ve Been Cancelled

Have you ever been unfriended by someone on social media because you have negated a stance on certain issues? Have you ever experienced being cast off by your own family members and your opinion has not been canvassed? Have you ever been treated with indifference by your co-workers and feel alienated in the workplace at some point in time?

If your answer is yes, then you have been cancelled.

I have been cancelled so many times in my life that I feel like a pariah with a deadly social disease. My first experience was in the sixth grade when the most popular girl in class decided that no one was to speak to me for a whole month because I revealed something about her. I wasn’t able to reach out to my parents because back in the day, it wasn’t normal to talk about your feelings. I sat alone and stewed feelings of rejection and loneliness, waiting for the next attack. The worst part was sitting on the bus alone on our way to a field trip in the capital, as my classmates chatted excitedly about what they will be shopping for.

I remember a friend telling me how oppressive it felt when her family decided not to talk to her for years. One of the family members had a very strong decision making power and when she was opposed by my friend, the sibling brought everyone together to exclude her in decision-making. She often heard put downs and criticisms from everyone. After being belittled and excluded so many times, she decided to walk away and accept the estrangement.

In all families, there are dominant and less dominant characters. The dominant may lead the family in cutting off a relative simply because they want to exert their high level of power and control due to personal issues with self-worth.

Being cancelled does not only happen with your close friends and family members. There is a culture of being cancelled or excluded because of social standards and rules that the society makes because certain practices are generally acceptable even if immoral. Many are being excluded due to their religious faith as well.

Even unvaccinated people are being cancelled these days. There is a degree of disapproval and lack of sympathy for those who are unvaccinated. Their rights and liberties have also been curbed because now they are treated as dangers to the society.

The reality is, we have one way or another cancelled someone in our lives. I am guilty of this when I decided to stop speaking to certain people or blocked them on social media for being so obnoxious. Is it wrong to castoff someone completely if we do not agree with them or because they have done something that we cannot forgive or do not measure up to our standard of beliefs?

Forgiveness is somewhat hard to extend especially when you keep on rewinding the offence done to you. But the most difficult part is allowing that person to come back into your life. I oftentimes hear people say, “I have forgiven but I cannot forget.” In this case, reconciliation is inconceivable. Totally cancelled.

In this day and age, human society has lost its empathy and mercy. We are easily persuaded with the opinions of social media, casting stones while hurling profanities at individuals.

Jesus came to the world blameless and without sin. Yet, He accepted and welcomed people who have been cancelled by the society because of their reprehensible actions. Examples of these are: the Samaritan woman at the well, the tax collector, the woman accused of adultery, Zaccheus who was invited to eat with Him, and so many others. He even healed lepers who were viewed as castaways associated with unpardonable sins. And yet, He didn’t cancel or blot them out despite their transgressions.

So before you blot out someone from your life, withhold forgiveness or sling a judgment on others—think about being cancelled in the Book of Life when the day of reckoning comes.