𝗧𝗵𝗲 𝗚𝗹𝗼𝗯𝗮𝗹 𝗕𝗲𝗮𝘁 𝗯𝘆 𝗚𝗲𝗿𝗮𝗹𝗱 𝗟𝗮𝗰𝘂𝗮𝗿𝘁𝗮

Remember that scene in Squid Game where contestants are forced to pick partners for what they think is a team game, only to find out they’ll be competing against their closest allies? Love and relationships in the post-pandemic world feel a bit like that—you think you know how things work, but then everything flips.

The people we counted on most during lockdown mirrored to us both our biggest worries and our greatest strengths – bringing out the best and worst in us. Some relationships grew stronger under pressure, while others fell apart. So, what does love look like after we’ve all faced our own survival games, post-pandemic? It’s more digital, more thoughtful, and sometimes, a bit more complicated.

Technology Saves the Day
Before COVID-19, dating apps and messaging platforms were already thriving. But during the lockdowns, they became the main way for many to meet new people. Take Jessica Parker and Tom Nguyen from New York City, for example. They met on a dating app during the 2020 lockdown and spent months getting to know each other through virtual cooking dates and movie nights over Zoom. Video calls took the place of coffee dates, and “long-distance” meant something new when even people in the same city couldn’t meet up. In March 2020, Zoom reported that its active users increased by 151% compared to the previous year.

Some of these virtual connections turned into real, lasting relationships. The screen barrier made people focus more on conversation than just first impressions. “Love at first sight” wasn’t really possible during the pandemic since people rarely met face-to-face. Personality and authenticity started to matter more than appearances because these connections depended on talking and really getting to know each other.

Now, even with the chance to meet in person, many couples are mixing digital and in-person hangouts. “Virtual dates” aren’t just a backup plan anymore; they’re part of how we stay connected, almost 24/7, especially now that remote work means more people are living apart. Sleeping and eating together on webcam became a norm.

Self-care and ‘Intentional Love’
The pandemic made us face isolation and loneliness head-on. For some, it sparked a stronger desire for real, meaningful connections, not just casual flings. Take Mia and Rajiv from Manila—they met online during the lockdown and quickly realized they shared more than just interests. Their values around family and “survival” lined up perfectly, leading to a strong relationship. People started giving more thought on what they really wanted in their relationships. Suddenly, it wasn’t just about common hobbies or interests—it was about shared values, coping skills, and how you handle tough times together.

Marriages and partnerships were tested like never before. In Pampanga, Anna and Luis Reyes found their bond grew stronger as they did homeschooling and remote work together, learning to support each other in new ways. Others, like couples featured in media (notably celebrities) split up, unable to handle the pressure of being stuck together all the time. The takeaway? Love in the post-pandemic world is about being “intentional” than carefree — choosing to nurture relationships that matter and letting go of those that don’t.

As isolation grew in the pandemic and communication became limited, this anymomyous quote became viral on social media: “Choose those who choose you.” Now alone by themselves, people felt that their real friends are those that kept communicating, and dropped those who didn’t even bother to check.

Mandy Hale, founder of the social media movement The Single Woman, said, “It’s not selfish to love yourself, take care of yourself, and make your happiness a priority. It’s necessary.” This mindset has become central to how people approach their relationships now, focusing on self-care even as care for other people.

Mental health and self-care became the buzzwords of the period.

Mental Health
One unexpected side effect of the pandemic is how it changed personal boundaries. Social distancing wasn’t just about physical space; it became emotional too. For example, a 2021 article from The Guardian cited how people like Sarah from London learned to prioritize their mental health by stepping back from draining relationships and focusing on self-care.

On the flip side, being emotionally available became even more important. Mental health shot up the priority list, and partners now expect more emotional support and understanding from each other. In Cebu, for example. mental health initiatives have encouraged couples to try therapy together, to build deeper emotional connections. It’s not enough to just “be there”; people want to feel seen and heard.

As best-selling author Brené Brown famously said, “Vulnerability is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy, and creativity.” This idea has really clicked in relationships, where being open and emotionally honest is now more valued than ever.

Lockdown Challenges and Opportunities
While love stories blossomed online across borders, the realities of international relationships (aka “LDR”) became even messier. Take Rachel from the Philippines and Liam from Australia, who were featured in a BBC article about their struggle to reunite after being separated for over a year due to travel bans. Travel restrictions, visa delays, and health rules turned what used to be small hurdles into huge challenges. But for those determined to make it work, these struggles only made their commitment stronger.

At the same time, local communities saw a return to simpler, more grounded connections. In San Fernando, Pampanga, neighbors organized community pantries, leading to new friendships and bonds that lasted beyond the crisis. In Quezon City, the daughter of my friend Art Non — then 26-year-old Ana Patricia “Patreng” Non — inspired other Filipinos to open community pantries when she started one on Maginhawa street in 2021.

Yes, despite the challenges imposed by the pandemic lockdowns not too long ago, Filipinos found opportunities to connect and express love for others in the most diverse of ways.

Love and Relationships, Post-Pandemic
So where do we go from here? Love in the post-pandemic world isn’t about going back to “normal”—it’s about finding a new normal. Technology and even AI will keep playing a role, but so will a better understanding of what really matters in our relationships. Whether it’s a rekindled marriage like that of 76-year-old Consuelo and her husband of 49 years, Ricky, who renewed their vows in Manila during the pandemic, a new online romance, or stronger bonds with friends and family, the pandemic showed us that love isn’t just about being together—it’s about how we’re together.

As we move forward, maybe the biggest lesson is this: love and loving, in all its forms, does not follow a straight path. Like water flowing, it adapts, changes, and finds ways to thrive, even in the most impossible of situations.

If you’re still feeling isolated or “loveless” after the pandemic, I would like to share a few tips to help you reconnect:

• Join a local or online community: Check out art workshops at Museo Ning Angeles, yoga classes, or join online groups like book clubs and photography clubs on Facebook.
• Volunteer your time: Consider volunteering at the Children’s Home of the Immaculate Heart of Mary in Balibago, Angeles City or helping out at local community pantries.
• Reconnect with old friends: Invite friends for a casual meet-up at Cafe Fleur in Angeles City, a cozy spot perfect for catching up. Or simply become active again in your highschool chat groups.
• Practice self-love and care: Spend a day at Puning Hot Spring for relaxation, or take up solo biking along the Lahar Trails in Porac to clear your mind. Even a walk around the Clark Parade Grounds can release any negative energy.
• Stay open to new experiences: Attend local events like the Sisig Festival in Angeles City, marathons in Clark, hikes in Mt Arayat or Pinatubo, or try learning Kapampangan cuisine at a cooking class.

By the way, if you’re reading this on February 14th, may you have a meaningful Day of the Hearts!